To Love Well is to Remain Awake to Beauty

REMAIN AWAKE TO BEAUTY

There are moments of light … when she sees him once again in his purest self, young and carefree the way he was before the cares of the world burned down on him.

Then, there are times when the light comes, and she doesn’t recognize his true self. It’s been too long, and she has forgotten. She might offer the bitter: let the light shine right through her. Too bad, Mister. Too little, too late.

Yes, sometimes, she lets time and circumstances make her an amnesiac. She forgets that to love well is to remain awake to beauty, though most of the time, she does try to be ready. She is vigilant.

PRAY AND REMAIN AWAKE TO BEAUTY

One time, when she was young, she went hunting with a friend. They hid in the trees and watched – then sprang upon their prey unawares from their secret place. To hunt the light is not like this, however. It’s more like catching fireflies, sitting in the open with a watchful eye, letting the moment light upon your skin. Then softly, oh so tenderly, cupping it in your hands, cradling it close before letting it fly away again, lifting its warm glow into the dark.

When she doesn’t remember how to love, she prays to remember, and light shines softly into the moments of life, revealing truth in a thousand many-faceted ways.

PRACTICE

In my book Playdates with God, I share the research of Dr. John Gottman (known as “The Love Doctor”), who has studied love and marriage for years. He writes that by observing a couple for as short as five minutes, he can predict with significant accuracy whether their marriage will last. One of the factors he has identified in determining this is how they remember. Sometimes, when I feel like giving up, I close my eyes and remember the beginning. I spend some time reflecting on why I fell in love with my husband, what made my heart resonate with him. Those qualities are still there, only sometimes I forget them under the weight of the days.

• Spend some time remembering today. Watch home movies, look at your wedding album, read an old journal. Remember.
• How do you respond when the moments of light cascade over the humdrum of every day?

Sometimes, we can smother out these tiny flickers and dismiss them amid the busy, but when depression lives in your life, these glimpses of light must be celebrated. Reinforce the happy moments by being fully present with them. Let your beloved know how much you delight in his or her delight. Cradle the light close to your heart.

**This series contains reflections on loving someone who has Depression. If you are in this place or know someone who is, I hope you’ll join me on this journey. We have two more installments to go. These words cannot replace medical or psychological treatment, but I hope they will be a source of encouragement.

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