Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness
A Blessing in Disguise
Learning to Live Five Minutes at a Time
Parenting children who live with chronic illness, mental illness, chronic pain, or disability challenges almost every decision we make, and we learn to do it all five minutes at a time.
About Parenting
Parents want to protect their children and keep them safe. It can be challenging to learn that your child lives wuth chronic illness, mental illness, chronic pain, and/or disability. Often parents feel guilty, weary, anxious, depressed, lonely, and sad.
Almost 42% of children live with at least one chronic illness.
Worldwide 50% of all mental illness begins by age 14 and most are undetected and untreated.
Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord. (Psalm 127:3)
Learning to Parent Five Minutes at a Time
In five minutes, we can:
- celebrate a catnap
- engage with a kind cashier
- savor the scent of clean laundry or clean hair
- flush a PICC line
- tie a shoe
- steep a cup of tea
- listen to the hearts of our growing teens, the words they say and the words they don’t
- fill a pot with water to boil pasta
- fold a load of laundry
- step outside into the sunshine
- eat an apple or a really good piece of chocolate
- take a deep breath and whisper, “Help, Lord.”
We can do anything for five minutes at a time.
“For so many years, I longed for someone a few years ahead of me on this parenting journey, who could look back and gently say, ‘I’ve been where you are. You will survive this. It might be the hardest thing you will ever do, but you can do this.’” (Cindee Snider Re)
One of the biggest lessons for me was to realize that what I had always imagined for my life had to change significantly. I had to readjust my expectations for me, our marriage, and my children – things like all our kids graduating from college, getting married, and having children of their own. Chronic illness, pain, suffering, grief, and loss do not fit into this mold.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
“I had to learn to embrace these words from Ephesians 4:2-3, replacing my frustration and sense of loss with this new paradigm of life – the life God had planned for us, so different from the life I had expected. I’m still learning and seeking God’s help and direction, but today, through all we’ve experienced, God has brought us closer together as a family.” (Tony Re)
Special Needs Parents
“As special needs parents, we don’t have the power to make life fair but we do have the power to make life joyful.” Blaire DeCarlo
My Children’s Pain
“There is a purpose to suffering,” says Timothy Keller, “and if faced rightly, it can drive us like a nail deep into the love of God and into more stability and spiritual power than you can imagine.” Cindee Snider Re
Grit • Strength of Character
“In order to cultivate gratitude in kids who are sick, the focus must be on allowing them to tell their own #story, creating a safe space for them to share, and creating opportunities to highlight the blessings and strengths around them.” DiggingDeep.org
Children Commute Between Worlds
“Children living with illness inhabit two worlds: the medical world and the wider world of “normal.” Most of the time children ‘commute’ between these worlds, an extraordinary challenge.”
Embrace the unique way your child is blooming
“Embrace the unique way your child is blooming – even if it’s not in the garden you imagined.” Jenn Soehnlin