Christ understands the tears I shed. He also wept before He bled. ~ Terry Powell
WHAT I’VE SEEN IN THE DARK: A Story of Depression and Faith
Audio of Dr. Terry Powell’s testimony at Columbia International University on September 22, 2014. Used with permission.
IN THE DARKNESS OF DEPRESSION
LIKE FALLING RAIN
My tears descend like falling rain.
Their constant flow reveals the pain
of much regret; of fragile heart.
I cannot stop them once they start.
With ev’ry drop there is an ache.
I did not know one’s heart could break
so many times in just one day.
Despondency won’t go away.
I shout! Yet God seems not to hear.
He leaves untouched my hurt, my fear.
Where is the God of Abraham?
Where’s El Shaddai? The great “I Am?”
Like falling rain hope, too, descends.
Are there not any dividends
to faith within the here and now?
Will God assist me? When? And How?
Does He not care when what I feel
makes dying grow in its appeal?
Though it’s racked by doubt, my mind turns
to God’s Word. Here is what it learns.
He gave His Spirit. He is near!
In time He’ll wipe away each tear.
Though I do not know how, or when,
My lips will smile and sing again.
Christ understands the tears I shed.
He also wept before He bled.
His cross absorbed His tears, and mine.
Heart-rending pain serves to refine.
God never acts except from love.
My darkness was designed above
For fruitfulness, and for my gain.
It’s grace outpoured, like falling rain.
Dr. Terry Powell
Author and Professor
Terry is Faculty Emeritus at Columbia International University, and now Adjunct Professor in Church Ministries. Married 50 years, he has two sons, a daughter-in-law, and a grandson. Terry writes about faith and depression at Penetrating the Darkness. His latest book, Oh God, I’m Dying! How God Redeems Pain for Our Good and for His Glory tells of God's sustaining grace in the life of co-author, Dr. Mark Smith, who is an effective Christian university president despite suffering daily pain from a near-fatal accident.
You’re Invited to Discover More
RELATED POSTS
Trauma’s Not a Sin
Trauma belonged to others. I had experienced difficulties in my childhood, but I didn’t feel like I deserved that d...
Though I Sit In Darkness
These vignettes from the past depict my ongoing struggle with depression. I’m either too numb to feel anything or t...
The Autumn Years of Marriage
A long marriage doesn’t make or break one’s character; it merely exposes it. And failure or erosion of the relati...
Where Is God When I’m Depressed?
Where is God in depression? David begins, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your ...
A Secret • The Painful Thoughts of Suicide
I have a secret. I hope you never feel like death is the only way out of your sadness. I hope you never experience th...
Field Notes of Pain – The Art of Life
Jayden and Brooklyn are fine, not sleeping, but fine. As fine as two dying kids can be. Most days, I fear they are do...
Lifting Shame in our Praying • Devotional
Anxiety and Shame in Chronic Illness The day was sunny and beautiful as we drove into the parking lot, but I...
Depression Is Not Easy To Understand • Lost at Sea
Depression isn’t easy to understand. We can offer companionship to those adrift on its turbulent waters. A person i...
Giving Criticism • 8 Faith-based Tips
Eight tips for giving constructive, faith-based criticism, from one Christian to another, or from leader to one who i...
Making the Most of Who You Are • Especially the Parts You Don’t Like
My strengths are closely tied to what I label as “weaknesses.” Perhaps it’s about focusing on the parts that ar...
Depression
Longing for light in the darkness.
Depression isn’t a surprise to God and doesn’t disqualify us from making an impact for the Kingdom. Hold onto hope. God is here.
Verses to Comfort and Encourage
The most significant thing we can do when we’re lonely, anxious, afraid, or overwhelmed, is to turn to the One who knows us and loves us completely – the God of all comfort.
Suicide Prevention
Hold Onto Possibility Everyday
Are you thinking about ending your life? Reach out for support. Are you concerned about a friend or loved one ending his or her life? Ask. Listen. Love.
LEARN MORE.
“We’ve got to take off our masks of living in Halloween, and live in Easter! Grace is for us.” I was so blessed by these words today, and “We give God most glory when we receive more Grace.” Thank you so much for sharing this powerful and truth-filled testimony!