“Who can I love today? It’s the daily question of my heart.” Becky Hill
DO ORDINARY THINGS WITH EXTRAORDINARY LOVE
“Do ordinary things with extraordinary love.”
Mother Teresa
A few months ago, I sunk into the traumatic storm of a cerebral spinal fluid leak relapse, which triggered a major mental health crisis. I felt completely worthless. Stuck in bed, I felt my life had little worth, value, or purpose. I felt like a burden to the world.
In that crushing darkness, I couldn’t see how I could bless or help others. I felt like a negative influence, a drain on others, and even considered deleting my blog and public writing. What’s the point of telling my sad story when the world is already full of sad stories? In the end, I compromised, privatizing my blog for a few weeks, until my perspective grew healthier and more balanced again.
YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT YOU DO
As the sun began to break through, I realized I’d fallen for the lie that “What you DO is more important than who you ARE.” The lie that if I can’t do anything then my life is worthless, that I am an insignificant nobody without the capacity to make a difference.
Why do we fall for the ageless deception that we ARE what we DO?
When such lies cripple me, shame consumes me, and I lose track of my identity, unsure where to anchor myself so I can move forward. But as my perspective improves, I remember that I am not what I DO! I am me, whether I am doing something or lying in bed.
WHO CAN I SHOW LOVE TODAY?
One day, as I was praying a ‘Psalm-type lament,’ I cried out to God, feeling I had no purpose anymore, so restricted by my physical condition that I questioned the point of being alive. In that moment, God spoke, “Precious child, your purpose is to ask yourself, ‘Who can I show LOVE today?’”
So simple, yet so profound. Even though I was stuck in bed, I could choose to love others from that place.
God’s words resonated, reminding me of the truth I already knew – LOVE is only love when it is given sacrificially.
DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE
Mother Teresa’s words, “Do small things with great love!” hang in our hallway. Acts of love don’t have to be big. We can love just as much through ordinary acts. What matters is the amount of love we offer.
“Who can I love today?” has become the daily question of my heart, helping me walk through what seemed like an impossible time to endure. On those days, when reality would hit me like a ton of bricks, I would try to accept where I was, grieve my limitations, and ask God to show me who I could show small acts of love and kindness to that day, and slowly, but surely, a sense of purpose, even amidst pain, was restored to me.
The more I loved, the more I felt God’s love, and the more love I had to give.
CHOOSE TO LOVE DAILY
Despite chronic pain, despite disabilities and limitations, despite whatever restrictions you are facing, there is purpose for your life – things only you can do, words only you can say, tasks only you will see need doing.
Being alive means there is someone to love, serve, encourage, or bless today.
Choose to love daily. It is the highest purpose of your life.
“I was broken so I may understand the broken, so I may reach out to the hurting, and comfort the wounded.
I have the capacity to bring hope and love and healing – a once fractured mirror finding new purpose,
because I am no longer reflecting myself, I’m reflecting Him.
This is my reason for living. This is why I was created.”
Sam Re
Published at beckyhillblog.com on 10/12/19.
More posts from Becky
Waves of Grief in Chronic Illness
Grief Doesn’t Just Come When People Die Yesterday was a hard day – a day when pain and nausea nagged and taunted me the whole day, a day when grief in waves washed over me, reminders of loss, of restriction, of the shackles of chronic illness. Grief doesn’t just come when people...
Grappling with the “Shame” of Having a Rare Invisible Illness
In 2016, I realized how much shame I was carrying because I was still unwell, over 20 months after a ladder fall left me with a debilitating spinal fluid (CSF) leak. Reading Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and...
Becky Hill
Becky lives in Leicester, UK and is a wife to Matt, mum to two girls, and a pursuer of Christ. Becky and Matt love the local church and have been involved in pastoral ministry for many years. In January, 2015, Becky fell from a step ladder causing a debilitating cerebrospinal fluid leak, which means she has to spend much of her day lying flat. Becky loves words and writes to connect, encourage, share her journey, and inspire others facing suffering, chronic illness and pain.
Each moment God provides opportunities to show His love. I pray I won’t miss any of His nudges today. 🙂 Have a blessed day!
Thank you for these precious, encouraging words today! There is always some way that we can express the love that Jesus has given to us. I pray that I will also hear His call to pray, to smile, to love the one in front of me. Blessings to you, Becky!
Thank you so much for your honest words. So many of us with chronic illness fall into these depths and I find it so empowering and encouraging when someone has the courage to share. Thank you for the reminder that our value isn’t in what we do, but who we are. That is so challenging to remember. God bless you! Thank you for sharing.