Who can I love today?

“Who can I love today? It’s the daily question of my heart.” (Becky Hill)



“Do ordinary things with extraordinary love.”
Mother Teresa

A few months ago, I sank into the traumatic storm of a cerebral spinal fluid leak relapse, which triggered a major mental health crisis. I felt utterly worthless. Stuck in bed, I felt my life had little worth, value, or purpose. I felt like a burden to the world.

In that crushing darkness, I couldn’t see how I could bless or help others. I felt like a negative influence, a drain on others, and I even considered deleting my blog and public writing. What’s the point of telling my sad story when the world is already full of sad stories? Ultimately, I compromised, privatizing my blog for a few weeks until my perspective grew healthier and more balanced again.



As the sun began to break through, I realized I’d fallen for the lie that “What you DO is more important than who you ARE,” the lie that if I can’t do anything, my life is then worthless. I am an insignificant nobody without the capacity to make a difference.

Why do we fall for the ageless deception that we ARE what we DO?

When such lies cripple me, shame consumes me, and I lose track of my identity. I am unsure where to anchor myself so that I can move forward – but as my perspective improves, I remember that I am not what I DO! I am me, whether I am doing something or lying in bed.



One day, while praying a Psalm-type lament, I cried out to God, feeling I had no purpose anymore; my physical condition so restricted me that I questioned the point of being alive. At that moment, God spoke, “Precious child, your purpose is to ask yourself, ‘Who can I LOVE today?’”

So simple, yet so profound. Even though I was stuck in bed, I could choose to love others from that place.

God’s words resonated, reminding me of the truth I already knew – LOVE is only love when given sacrificially.



Artwork of Mother Teresa’s words, “Do small things with great love!” hangs in our hallway. Acts of love don’t have to be big. We can love just as much through ordinary acts. What matters is the amount of love we offer.

Who can I love today?” has become the daily question of my heart, helping me walk through what can seem like an impossible time to endure. When reality hits me like a ton of bricks, I try to accept where I am, grieve my limitations, and ask God to show me to whom I can show small acts of love and kindness that day. Slowly but surely, a sense of purpose (even amidst pain) is restored to me.

The more I love, the more I feel God’s love and the more love I have to give.



Despite chronic pain, disabilities, and limitations, despite whatever restrictions you face, there is purpose for your life – things only you can do, words only you can say, tasks only you see need doing.

Being alive means there is someone to love, serve, encourage, or bless today.

Choose to love daily. It is the highest purpose of your life.

“I was broken so I may understand the broken, so I may reach out to the hurting and comfort the wounded.
I have the capacity to bring hope and love and healing – a once-fractured mirror finding new purpose
because I am no longer reflecting myself, I’m reflecting Him.
This is my reason for living. This is why I was created.”

Sam Re

Published at beckyhillblog.com on 10/12/19. Published with permission.

Becky Hill

Becky Hill

Chronic Joy® Contributing Writer

Becky lives in Leicester, UK, and is a wife to Matt, mum to two girls, and a pursuer of Christ. Becky and Matt love the local church and have been involved in pastoral ministry for many years. In January 2015, Becky fell from a step ladder causing a debilitating cerebrospinal fluid leak and chronic arachnoiditis which means over the years she has had to spend much of her time in bed. She also lives with severe daily neurological pain. Becky loves words and writes to connect, encourage, share her journey, and inspire others facing suffering, chronic illness, and pain.

Biblical Purpose Statement

YOUR Biblical Purpose

Purpose is the reason something exists or was created. It is the reason we act or choose not to act and encompasses intentions and objectives.

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