In the Fog: Finding God When You Can’t See Much Else

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. (Psalm 119:105)

Winter fell early here in Manitoba, with short days and long nights. Cold air resting on the still-warm ground filled the atmosphere with fog dense enough to trigger zero highway visibility warnings.

I don’t know why, but the change of seasons caused a flare in my fibromyalgia. The brain fog rolled in even thicker than what I saw outside.

Concentration became close to impossible. I would list the things I wanted to accomplish in my head, but often even the essentials slipped through my fingers. As morning became evening, I would remember all that I had not done. It wasn’t that I lost interest; I really did want to bake bread, file all the papers piling up in the den, read the book sitting by my chair, and put words on paper. I wanted to write, but I could not make it happen. It all weighed heavily on my heart. The longer my to-do list became, the more my anxiety grew.

LISTENING TO GOD’S WORD

Mercifully, God was there… and He gave me a way to notice Him more than ever.

I was having trouble concentrating on reading, so I struggled during my daily devotional time. “How can I remain close to You, Lord, if I can’t feed on Your Word?” I cried out.

“Listen,” was His one-word reply.

“I am listening, I always listen,” I countered, “but I miss the Bible.”

“That’s why I said ‘Listen,’ my child. Use an audio version of My Word.”

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Romans 10:17)

I opened the Bible Gateway app on my phone and searched for the first chapter of Matthew.  There was a small icon of a microphone.

“Here goes,” I said out loud, settling back into my chair.

The sound was crisp and clear. I had the sense that not only was God Himself telling me His story, but that He also was wrapping His presence around me.

I penned the following words in my journal to remember this light in the fog.

IN THE FOG

Today was blurred
fuzzy around edges
feathers
instead of
sharp steel
and here am I
rejoicing
in moments soft,
muted, sacred
knowing not only His
hands
but His heart
hold me
as I choose to linger
long in the stillness
of His shadow
where peace
descends and expands

Father God, when all around us and inside us seems foggy and grey, help us to remember that You are our source of light and life. Your Word sustains us if we read, hear, and remember it. We praise You that we do not walk in quicksand but in the truth of Your Word. In Jesus’ name, we pray.

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

• Have you ever found it difficult to read the Bible?
• Have you tried listening to an audio version?
• If so, what was the difference between listening and reading?