STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS
2 Corinthians 12:10 is the verse that helped me through my chronic illness – seriously. There have been times in the past that I felt betrayed by the Lord. It took a trip through counseling to fully realize how abandoned I felt. Because of this verse, I realized I was trying to stand on my own two feet. I didn’t tell my family how hurt I was, my friends how much help I needed, or God how distant He felt.
I reached my breaking point at camp about nine months after my initial diagnosis. During worship, I had to sit all alone with my knees to my chest in a cold, damp room two doors down from the main conference room because the band’s vibrations were so strong. Those vibrations brought tears to my eyes if I got any closer. The camp was supposed to bring about a spiritual high. In my head, I associated going to camp as the closest I could feel to God. Instead, I never felt further from Him. I had run from Him years before because of another hurt, but in my head, I had always known I was the one to leave the relationship. Now, I felt like I was fighting tooth and nail to stay close to Him while He had abandoned me.
GOD GIVES STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS
This was the furthest I had ever felt from the Lord – but it led to a new understanding of His goodness. Because of this isolation, I realized that I truly felt alone; I thought that no one understood me, so I had to stand on my own two feet to make it through each day. Because of that cold, damp room, I learned that instead of trying to hold the weight of my world on my shoulders, I needed to lean in — to collapse into the arms of my heavenly Father. I wasn’t made to walk through chronic illness on my own. Neither are you. He is there—with His arms open wide—waiting to catch you.
Lord, help me to fall into Your open arms. I can’t do this anymore. I am hurt, and I need Your help. Help me to lean on You and not my own strength. Show me Your presence. In Your name, amen.
This is the final post (Part 4) in the series: True Strength Comes Though Welcoming God into Our Weaknesses. The previous posts are:
QUESTIONS TO PONDER
- Do you feel betrayed by God? This week, I encourage you to take some time to talk with Him about what you are feeling. You could go on a walk, journal, or do another activity with your time and energy focused on praying and being honest with God.
- Are you afraid showing God your true emotions will make you a bad Christian? He already knows exactly what you are going through and wants a relationship with you in which you are honest about your feelings.
- What is one way you can fall into the Lord’s arms this week?
Chronic Joy® Contributing Writer
Elyse is a recent graduate with a fondness for the outdoors. After a simple slip on the ice left her with chronic pain syndrome, she began to see how God does work all things for good. Armed with Biblical truth and her TENS unit, Elyse uses her experiences to encourage young adults with the message that they can thrive in the face of difficult circumstances.
God created us with a complex range of emotions which can be difficult to identify and explain. The Emotions Wheel is a tool designed to grow our emotional intelligence, thus strengthening our relationship with God as well as our compassion and empathy for others.