Life on the Edge of Uncertainty

For I, the Lord, do not change. (Malachi 3:6)

LIFE ON THE EDGE OF UNCERTAINTY

Many of us are probably well acquainted with this idea. A tiny niggling pain, a doctor’s visit, a diagnosis – and suddenly, nothing will ever be the same again.

We constantly live on the edge of this uncertainty: all of us – every day, every minute.

CHRONIC ILLNESS AND UNCERTAINTY

For as long as I can remember, I have known I will not have my mum forever, and yet that split-second phone call during my lunch break when I heard she had a mass in her pancreas still changed everything.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve devoured books where dramatic things happen. Kids die too young, people are wounded in battle, last-minute inheritances save the day, all is lost, and all are rescued over and over again. Yet I still remember exactly where I was when I found out that my ten-year-old friend had suddenly died from an undiagnosed brain tumor.

Likewise, I suspect that while many of us may know the speed with which reality can be remade, the recent pandemic also came as a shock. No one really expected it. Not many people imagined that their actions (perhaps already severely curtailed by disease or circumstances) would be hedged further by governments seeking to prevent disaster.

FOR ALL WHO STRUGGLE

Oh, my friends, I feel for all of you who already struggle so much with everyday life and were suddenly faced with even greater uncertainty, even more complications, and ever-duplicating fears. There are so many questions for which none of us have answers.

Would we be able to obtain the medicine that we or our loved ones need? Would our loved ones get ill? Would they survive?  How would we attend the necessary appointments? How would we all stay sane during periods of isolation or too-close habitation? Would we survive?

Would the world ever be the same again? When would all this end? What’s next?

The list could go on. There’s both too much to say and not enough to say about the crisis that crept across our world.

Here are three things I reflected on and found a comfort:

1. CHRONIC ILLNESS OR A PANDEMIC REVEALS OUR NORMAL STATE

Each of us lives precariously all the time. It’s easy to forget this – to forget just how quickly the world can be remade, how easily the future can be undone. We are but dust and ashes and so, so fragile. All the pandemic did was pull back the veil a little. Every one of us was confronted with the reality of our existence simultaneously. It is uncertain. It is unknown. It is terrifying.

So, now what? Do we sit and wait around for the world to end with either a bang or a whimper? Do we throw in the towel or prepare for an apocalypse? You could. People do – but isn’t there a better way?

2. CHRONIC ILLNESS OR A PANDEMIC GIVES US A CHANCE TO DECIDE HOW TO RESPOND

Everything changed, yet nothing has changed. I find this comforting. Life has always been uncertain and has always been terrifying. The pandemic allowed us to see clearly and to decide how to respond – not just to the crisis but to the remainder of our unstable lives.

For the first time in a while, everyone felt the stress and uncertainty that perhaps marks many of our daily lives. Perhaps we who have lived with the unknowns of chronic illness are in a place to comfort those for whom all this was new and overwhelming.

• I understand how this is terrifying for you; I’ve often felt that way over the years when I’ve struggled with the ups and downs of _______________.
• You’re right; it can be tough to have all your plans uprooted. I know I am often quite upset when I can’t make social gatherings because of ________________.
• Yes, it’s frustrating when everyday products aren’t available. I often feel quite stressed when I’m not sure if I can get my medication or my_______________ in time.

It can be easy to feel bitter or self-righteous when the circumstances you’ve struggled with for years are the ones everyone else is suddenly experiencing and grappling with. Can we turn these feelings into constructive ways to reach out to one another in love?

3. CHRONIC ILLNESS OR PANDEMIC DOESN’T NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING

God was the answer when life seemed safe, and He remains the answer when we know it is not. In this respect, nothing has changed.

So, we march on – as we always have, wavering on the precipice of eternity, hands held out to Jesus, doing human things, living human lives, loving others, and knowing that for this minute, we are alive. All minutes have been carefully woven into the very material of the universe by the Master Craftsman.

What is unknown to us is known by the One who knows us and makes Himself known.

First published at calledtowatch.com. Published with permission.