My True Healing

​ TRUE HEALING

I have been struggling with chronic illness, on and off, for more than half my life. Even though I am presently experiencing some relief from my laundry list of undiagnosed health issues, I now have an even longer to-do list which seems to be increasing every day, no matter how many things I cross off.

God has reached out to me through this time of pain, immobility, and dependence on others. My current bout of illness has provided (rather, forced) the opportunity to step off the busy merry-go-round of life and be still: to sit in silence, listen to what is on my mind, and let God do some healing in me.

I realized just how little I included God or Jesus in my everyday life. In exploring why this is so, I found a deep hole where my identity needed to be. I feel so small and helpless without a secure foundation of my identity in Christ.

Today (My son is at school, my husband is at work, and the house is quiet.), I chose to sit down with my Bible. I opened to where last night’s devotional stopped: John 7 – 8. As I glanced over the page, looking at the paragraph titles, I decided to read John 8:31-32:

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

This hit me right in the heart. To better understand the root of my identity over the last few months, I’ve been seeking God and learning more about Jesus. To find this freedom in God’s truth, I would need to change some of my daily choices.

GOD GIVES JOY EVEN IN CHRONIC ILLNESS

God promises to give me what I need. He is a good Father who will care for me. If I stay focused only on the physical brokenness that comes with chronic illness, I may get lost in the pursuit of good health. Inviting God to walk along with me can lead to a healing that produces joy, even if my circumstances never change.

John continued to drive this point home:

If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:10-11)

Even in the depths of my pain, while praying for healing, I need to trust God’s answer. Right now, He is saying Wait.

BEAUTY LEARNED FROM A HOSPITAL STAY

In August, I was in the hospital for five days; it was not where I wanted to be, and I was there longer than I anticipated. At that time, I had two options: focus on the negatives and join the grumbling people in the room or choose to believe God can work all things for good. At this moment in my journey, I was in the right heart space to take stock of the good. I asked God what I could do for His glory in that room.

In those five days, I was able to pray for five new people.

• The grumpiest of my roommates told me “You bring a light to the room.”
• I spoke words of truth and affirmation to a broken soul far from God.
• A sister in Christ needed a physical reminder of God’s love and provision – which turned out to be me!

Being hospitalized was a difficult experience, but God brought a beauty from it that will stay with me. Someday I hope to find out how God used those moments to impact all those in the room.

One thing I will never forget: discovering that the knowledge of God is inside each of us. Listening to a struggling man cry out to God in the depths of his pain and anguish told me that God is more real than any one of us can understand – even if we are far from Him, claiming He is not real.

EXPERIENCING DEEPER HEALING

God wants us to be with Him, to know and honor Him with our words and actions. By following Jesus’ words (If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love.), we can experience deeper healing. This requires that we live out His commands every day.

I am so thankful that through this time of pain and uncertainty, God has moved in my life, healing my soul so I can experience joy even though my physical circumstances have not changed.

PRAYER

Father, thank you for how you love us. Thank you for your promise of joy despite our circumstances. Help us to remember that promise each day so we may choose you over everything else. Please help us to carry this burden of poor health and give us strength each day. In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION 

1. To whom do you turn for help with your physical healing?
2. How much time are you giving to God each day?
3. Where do you seek to find joy?