God has reached out to me through this time of pain, immobility, and dependence … My current bout of illness has provided (rather, forced) the opportunity to step off the busy merry-go-round … and be still: to sit in silence, listen to what is on my mind, and let God do some healing in me. (Sarah Smith)
TRUE HEALING
I have been struggling with chronic illness for more than half my life. Even though I am presently experiencing some relief from my laundry list of undiagnosed health issues, I now have an even longer to-do list, which seems to be increasing every day, no matter how many things I cross off.
God has reached out to me through this time of pain, immobility, and dependence on others. Current chronic illnesses have provided (rather, forced) an opportunity to step off the busy merry-go-round of life and be still: to sit in silence, listen to what is on my mind, and let God do some healing in me.
CRISIS OF IDENTITY
Even though I feel small and helpless without a secure foundation of my identity in Christ, I realize just how little I include God or Jesus in my everyday life. How do I address this identity crisis?
Today (My son is at school, my husband is at work, and the house is quiet.), I chose to sit down with my Bible. I opened to where last night’s devotional stopped: John 7 – 8. As I glanced over the page, looking at the paragraph titles, I decided to read John 8:31-32:
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
This hit me right in the heart. To find this freedom in God’s truth, I need to change some of my daily choices.
GOD GIVES JOY EVEN IN CHRONIC ILLNESS
God promises to give me what I need. He is a good Father who will care for me. If I stay focused only on the physical brokenness that comes with chronic illness, I may get lost in the pursuit of good health. Inviting God to walk with me can lead to a healing that produces joy, even if my circumstances never change.
John continues to drive this point home (John 15:10-11):
If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
Even in the depths of my pain (while praying for healing), I need to trust God’s answer. Right now, He is saying, “Wait.”
BEAUTY LEARNED FROM A HOSPITAL STAY
In August, I was in the hospital for five days; it was not where I wanted to be, and I was there longer than I anticipated. At that time, I had two options: focus on the negatives and join the grumbling people in the room or choose to believe God can work all things for good. At this moment in my journey, I was in the right heart space to take stock of the good. I asked God what I could do for His glory in that room.
In those five days, I prayed for five new people.
- The grumpiest of my roommates told me, “You bring a light to the room.”
- I spoke words of truth and affirmation to a broken soul far from God.
- A sister in Christ needed a physical reminder of God’s love and provision–which was me!
Being hospitalized was a difficult experience, but God brought a beauty from it that will stay with me. Someday, I hope to discover how God used those moments to impact the others in the room.
One thing I will never forget is discovering that the knowledge of God is inside each of us. Listening to a struggling man cry out to God in the depths of his pain and anguish told me that God is more real than any of us can understand–even if we are far from Him, claiming He is not real.
EXPERIENCING DEEPER HEALING
God wants us to be with Him, to know and honor Him with our words and actions. By following Jesus’ words (If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love.), we can experience deeper healing. This requires that we live out His commands every day.
I am so thankful that God has worked in my life through this time of pain and uncertainty, healing my soul so I can experience joy even though my physical circumstances have not changed.
PRAYER
Father, thank You for how You love us. Thank You for Your promise of joy despite our circumstances. Help us remember that promise each day so we may choose You over everything else. Please give us the strength each day to carry this burden of poor health. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
- To whom do you turn for help with your physical healing?
- How much time are you giving to God each day?
- Where do you seek to find joy?
Sarah Smith
Sarah is a mom, blogger, lover of food, and follower of Jesus. Writing has always been part of her life, whether through song lyrics, poems, short stories, or blogging. She expresses her creativity through music, sewing, and crocheting, as well as by cooking and baking. Sarah is wife to “a wonderful man” with whom she parents a precious boy. She strives to manage her chronic health condition while searching for a diagnosis.
Self-Care for your Soul
Spend a little time getting to know God better: who He is, what He’s like, how He feels about us, and how He acts toward His creation. Sabbath rest helps us discover the peace only found when we trust in God's presence.
Recent Comments