Embrace the Melancholy

EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Melancholy is the most accurate word I can muster to describe how this holiday season feels to me. Do you, too, find yourself experiencing the paradox of emotional numbness against the backdrop of Andy Williams singing It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year? Have your (and your loved ones’) hardships left you lost in a pensive sadness, wandering around in your blasé thoughts?

Man, that sure is where I’ve been lately! Not just because of the recent losses I’ve experienced myself but also because of the many people I know who are hurting and experiencing life-altering difficulties. To make things more challenging, the cheer usually associated with Christmas seems to emphasize the “blahs” even more.

However, I find it is these melancholic times that test the mettle of my faith. I mean, if what I believe about God is only true when I’m feeling it, that’s a rather paper-thin orthodoxy, is it not?

So, I’ve decided to do something this season that I want to encourage you to do as well if you are so inclined: embrace the melancholy.

That’s right. Embrace it.

Before I unpack what I mean by that, let me be clear on what I don’t mean. I’m not talking about wallowing in sadness, nor do I mean following the melancholy into a downward spiral of hopelessness and depression. If you are at that level, then by all means, reach out and get help from a loved one or a professional counselor.

Instead, I’m speaking to those who feel like a train that has stopped too quickly: the weight of your circumstances and this dumpster fire of a year are gaining momentum and shifting forward. You’ve got an emotional migraine. Your feeler seems to be broken from feeling too much all at once.

EMBRACE MELANCHOLY USING THE PSALMS

I want you to know that in His sovereignty, God gave us a wide range of emotions to experience – and He did it on purpose. He created emotions for us. Sadness is not a sin. It does not make you less than. In Philippians 4, while the apostle Paul said he had found a way to be content in every circumstance, he never said he was giddy all the time. Hardships are … hard, and God gave us the pressure valve of our emotions (some pleasant, others not as pleasant) so that our heads won’t explode whenever something extreme happens.

Perhaps our best cue for embracing melancholy is the book of Psalms. It has always been my favorite book of the Bible, and as a musician, I often find myself strolling through it, especially when something seems off in my life. I realize that David wrote some of his best stuff when things were falling apart for him. Amazingly, his difficult circumstances often drove him toward God, not away from Him. So it stands to reason that God is, in fact, willing to sit with us in our sadness. Whether we feel Him on our end or not, God is both gentle and relentless in being with us when we are hurting.

GOD IS WITH US IN OUR SADNESS

So, do I crave hard times? No, of course not. They stink – but after my nearly 50 years of living, I’m just now discovering that whatever path I’m on, God still wants to be near me – and He’s strewn things along that path for me to pick up and carry with me for future reference.

So, friends, if you feel like I do this Christmas, let sadness and hope jostle in the balance. Be okay with the messiness of how that feels. Simultaneously, embrace God and the feeling of melancholy. God will sit with you in the midst of it. Do what might feel counterintuitive – go toward Him. There is something to be gleaned in this melancholic place. After all, one of the miracles of God with us is that it’s not circumstantial. He is still Emmanuel, no matter where we are.