Chronic Illness in the Hand of the Refiner

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord. (Malachi 3:3)

A MASTER CRAFTSMAN SHAPES

A master craftsman deploys many tools to accomplish his artistry in creating a masterpiece from a block of wood. The work often begins with a hammer and chisel to affect major reshaping. A finely sharpened tool may be used to give the wood new contours. Sometimes, the shaping work calls for the finest sandpaper. The friction it creates is barely discernible, yet it leaves behind the smoothest surfaces.

However it may be reshaped, the chunk of wood remains fundamentally the same with all its internal imperfections. Applying a coat of stain often reveals flaws just below the surface, indiscernible to the naked eye. The stress of weight or dryness may provoke a fracture, revealing a hidden inner flaw.

A metallurgist (someone who works with metals) first aims to purify the basic substance with which he works. This always involves applying heat, thereby separating the dross from the pure metal. When that process is complete, the metal becomes more useful for many purposes. It is stronger than it was before the refining process and fit for things unpurified metal is not.

A MASTER REFINER PURIFIES

As the Master Refiner, our Lord does not want to merely reshape us; he wants to purify us. In so doing, he fits us for greater purposes—his eternal purposes. Sometimes, the heat He deploys arises from external trials, and other times, it comes from internal ailments.

Many stories in Scripture show us that physical illness doesn’t just happen to the child of God. It is not an unfortunate stroke of bad luck. We have been fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together in our mother’s womb by God Himself (Psalm 139:13-14). Because of that, any genetic predisposition we may have towards whatever ails us is under His control. Since God controls the circumstances of our lives, we know trauma or disease does not strike at a moment of His inattention. Like Job, we acknowledge the mystery of His sovereignty in our lives is too wonderful for me to comprehend (Job 42:3), but we know it is true—and we trust all to His care.

When I was first struck with chronic illness at the age of 27, I was easily consumed by the physical challenges my illness provoked. The physical agony and the disruption of everyday life seemed quite overwhelming. Yet, the one who works all things together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28) seeks to use the heat of illness to purify us for his eternal purposes. If we can receive it, chronic illness is a gift—a work of grace used in the Refiner’s hand to loosen our grip on the fleeting pleasures of this life.

LOOSENING THE GRIP OF ATTACHMENT

The death of two high school friends (one from trauma and the other from leukemia) awakened me to the fleeting nature of life itself—and the need to prepare for my own inevitable death. Their deaths were the means the Lord used to bring me new life in His son, but it was chronic illness that loosened the grip of life itself. I experienced an instant victory over death at the moment of salvation, but victory over the attachment to the things in this decaying world has been (and continues to be) a progressive process. Few things have been more effective to that end than chronic illness.

• The discomfort provoked by chronic illness has served as a constant reminder that we live in a broken world. Sin invaded God’s creation, requiring the ultimate destruction of our corruptible body. Why would I want to hold onto something that is decaying?
• The challenges created by chronic illness exposed my inclination toward self-sufficiency, and they have given me abundant opportunities to test the sufficiency of God’s promised grace. That grace has proven sufficient every time—and testing and proving the sufficiency of His grace has comforted me for subsequent trials.
• Chronic pain (most often invisible to others) has forced me to face my blindness to the suffering of others. It has revealed flaws in my character and helped me better understand how to love others.
• The limitations imposed by chronic illness have struck repeated blows to pride, which continues to die a painfully slow death within me.

Yes, chronic illness is a gift. In the Refiner’s hand, it is a means to remove the dross of our lives and fit us for greater usefulness in his kingdom.