CAREGIVING

As a child, I rarely considered what it meant to become elderly. I certainly didn’t think life would become more difficult when someone I loved needed caregiving assistance in her elder years. Now that I am a senior, I see how complicated life can be.

A caregiver is an individual who assists someone unable to care for his or her responsibilities and needs. This might include:

  • help with finances
  • health care decisions
  • funeral arrangements
  • shopping
  • moving from a home to assisted living or a nursing home
  • Power of Attorney for finances and health care
  • numerous other challenges. 

I find myself involved in all of these matters.

STAGGERING  STATISTICS

As I researched what caregiving is and how it affects the caregiver, I found some staggering statistics:

  • Sixty-nine percent of caregivers assist one person
    • About half of that percentage gives care approximately eight hours per week
    • 17 percent assists for 40 or more hours per week.
  • The average length of caregiving is a bit over four years.

My involvement with my loved one has been going on for 14 years; for a while, I was caregiving for two family members at the same time.

SEEKING GOD’S HELP

There have been times when I have been resentful and perhaps unloving regarding my caregiving responsibilities. When I find this happening, I go to Scripture to see what God has to say. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

These aspects must be at the forefront of my caregiving. For me, this means checking my emotions, thoughts, motives, and actions to ensure they meet God’s standards. I need to be aware of my temptations (such as anger, fear, and indispensability). I have learned to ask myself questions about who I am angry at and identify false statements such as:

  • “There’s no way I can do this for the long haul,”
  • “I deserve better than this,”
  • “Nobody can do it better than I can,”
  • “No one cares about me except…,”
  • “If I don’t do it, nobody will.”

Sometimes, I feel God has put more on my plate than I can handle, so I ask God daily for wisdom and power through His Spirit (2 Peter 1:3).

Burnout (something we must steadily guard against) is potentially a big problem for caregivers. Almost everyone is prone to it, some more than others. It can sneak up on you without you even knowing it’s happening. It is a feeling of emotional or physical exhaustion after prolonged responsibilities with people and work situations that demand our time, strength, and energy. Some of the indicators are:

  • detaching self from other people,
  • headaches,
  • tiredness,
  • sleeplessness,
  • depression,
  • forgetfulness,
  • relational challenges.

THINGS TO REMEMBER AS YOU GO THROUGH CAREGIVING’S UPS AND DOWNS


First appeared in Just Between Us magazine, Spring 2017 issue. Published with permission.

SUSAN E. BUTCHER

SUSAN E. BUTCHER

Susan is a certified life coach through the American Association of Christian Counselors, a grief counselor, and a freelance writer. Additionally, she is a seasoned speaker and Bible teacher. She lives in Milwaukee, WI.

An Infusion of Hope for Caregivers

God knows how overwhelming caregiving can be, how it can throw the whole balance of our lives inside out and upside down. As caregivers, we need a steady infusion of hope from God's word to do the work He has called us to do.

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