A few weeks ago, I was in the den learning how to build a blog. My husband walked in and sadly dropped into a chair. This particular day was after I learned I needed chemo again and a few days before my first treatment. My husband had been in a funk and I wasn’t sure what was causing it. I asked him if it was the miserable Texas heat or if he felt sick or if it me getting chemo again?
It was me getting chemo again.
I looked at him and knew he was sad, angry and worried. My response was, “I’ve never been happier.”
Cancer is having a good go at my body and I’m not thrilled about chemo. I don’t like feeling physically tired and sick, but my soul and the heart of who I am are full of joy.
I struggled with depression for many years. It was a long, lonely, dark period in my life. I was suicidal for a time. Thankfully, with God’s help, I made it out of the darkness. He has told me who I am and that I belong to Him. With Him, I know everything will be OK. He has shown me my purpose. He wants me to tell my story and what He has done in my life.
After many years of thinking I was forgotten and had no purpose, I am at peace. Instead of letting all the bad things in my life keep me locked down and stuck, I’ve let them go and set myself free. I have taken those bad things, turned them around and pushed them away. They are now stories of hope and how God can and will release anyone from any burden. What had once caused pain now brings peace.
It took many years to get the courage to start my blog. In my mind, I kept the idea of sharing my story in a small box and stored it away as impossible. I slowly let the impossible become a dream come true. The day I published my first post, immediately after I pushed enter, God whispered to me, “Well done.” Most of my life, I’ve pursued approval, love, acceptance, purpose and happiness. And in that single second after I pushed enter, I had it all.
Today my body hurts. As I relive the moment after my first post, joy overtakes the hurt. Cancer can’t touch joy that comes heaven. Cancer doesn’t stand a chance.
Now may God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace as you believe, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NIV
JULIE ANDERSON has been a writer for many years. recently blogging at jcteachme.com. Julie has battled through depression, and with the help of God, is now free. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, and knows today, she would rather fight cancer than battle depression.
Radical hope. Compassionate change. Equipping those affected by chronic physical and mental illness through community and education rooted in Jesus Christ.